lightningsloth:

perksofbeinga-phillion:

ifancythatcapp:

compos-dementis:

midnightwolfpack:

mister-dew:

heyfunniest:

the hipster WAT

I am the funny one.  Cool

the re-noter  “You love to tumble. You do it all day and night, and you share everything you come across that tickles your fancy via reblog.”

ACCURATE. VERY ACCURATE.

The fame stalker.

Welp. Sounds about right.

the funny one

SINCE WHEN?

scary how true it was…

Hmmmm…”The Artistic One” Interesting.

princess-tabitha:

pauliie-bm:

i know what i’m doing tomorrow !!!!!!!

next saturday

thugkitchen:

THERE’S SO MUCH GOD DAMN SPINACH in this shit even Popeye can’t hate. Yeah yeah spinach makes you swoll as fuck, we know that shit. But did you know just one cup of spinach is 337% of your daily recommended Vitamin A? Sweet fuck. You worried about acne? Wrinkles? Any other skin shit? Spinach to the mother fucking rescue. That shit keeps your skin looking so fresh and so clean, not to mention helping to prevent skin cancer. Spinach is packin these plant-based compounds called “flavonoids” that not only repair damaged skin but also fight multiple types of cancer. Everybody knows I ain’t even fucking playing when it comes to dick cancer, I gotta have my shit in tact.

IF YOU SMOKE cigarettes (tumblr crew I’m looking at you), DO NOT take any Vitamin A or beta carotene supplements. Studies have shown that combining those supplements with tobacco drastically increases your risk for lung cancer. But then again, smoking drastically increases your risk for lung cancer. So quit that shit and live strong homie.

So you want to make this shit at home and tell Jamba Juice they can go fuck themselves by not paying for their high calorie sugary shit? Recipe below for a Thug Kitchen Original:

SPINACH COOLER
Ectoplasm free and Dr. Venkman approved

• 2 handfuls of spinach (about 2 cups)
• 2 frozen bananas
• 1 cup chopped and skinned cucumber
• 4 medium chunks of pineapple
• 1 cup coconut water or tap
  
• 1/4 cup orange juice
• 1 tablespoon flax oil (optional)
• 6-8 mint leaves (optional, but I dig that shit)
• yields ~20 ounces

Toss that shit in a blender and zap it. If you prefer it a little sweeter, add some more pineapple to that shit. DRINK UP, CHAMP.

For real though, fuck Jamba Juice. Only they could make smoothies as unhealthy as McDonald’s made oatmeal.

chandeluresinsicily:

JACK BLACK IS LITERALLY LEADING AN ENTIRE ARMY OF PO COSTUMES HOW IS THIS PICTURE NOT ALL OVER TUMBLR

alweizhungry:

lifesaver4u:

Fireman humor

need to plaster this all over the probies locker 

michiamocristina:

An 87 Year Old College Student Named Rose

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know.
I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me
with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?”

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze.

“Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked.

She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…”

“No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

“I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.We became instant friends. Every day for the
next three months, we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine”
as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and
she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was
introduced and stepped up to the podium.

As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell
you what I know.”

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop
playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day.

You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!There is a huge difference between growing
older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old.

If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change.
Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those
with regrets.”

She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.”

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died
peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s
never too late to be all you can possibly be .When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they’ll really enjoy it!

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS
OPTIONAL.

We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.